AAB Ritchie, who is the Library Custodian, seems to be under the (false) impression that cats shouldn't sit in chairs. Apparently he thinks that if the cat (that's me) never sits in chairs, he will never have to clean cat furs off of them. So when he sees me in a chair, he shakes the chair until I leave it.
Kitties, I know! I know this is horrifying. Hopefully your people have smelling salts (or at least canned tuna) nearby. I held a staff meeting to determine how best to deal with this insubordination.
AB Karen suggested we discipline him by withholding cake. In case you've never read my blog before, cake is a big deal around here. We like to have cake of some sort to celebrate days ending in Y. Ritchie *loves* cake.
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| Ritchie's next tattoo |
After the cake was hidden, AAB Britta made Ritchie a special computer screen:
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| Imagine how terrifying this would be at 6:00 am! |
Ritchie thought it was funny.
So I arranged for a special "treat" for him.
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| 100% Genuine Tober Furs |
Do any of you have ideas on how to properly train a human? He's a guy-human, which makes him a little harder to train, but still. . . You have no idea how awful it is to be awoken from a great nap by the whole world shaking. This has to stop!
Thank goodness we have a three-day weekend coming. I will have an extra day (without AAB Rotten Ritchie) to nap uninterrupted, and maybe I'll think of a good way to discipline him.
Until then, I remain ready for battle.
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| Go ahead. Make my day. |
Wishing everyone lots of naps in chairs,
Tober
10 comments:
This might be a little bit rude, but Tober, I expel a little flatus when I'm irritated. You could give it a try!
Mommy got all fainty, thinking about cake that wasn't there!
XX Grayce
I think he should not be allowed to sit in chairs either if he does not think you should be there, Tober!
Here is what I would do Tober, I'd keep the computer screen up, he didn't think it was funny but he was embarrassed so he laughed. Then I would poison a piece of cake and let him eat it. Not a lot of poison, just enough to make him sick, and let him know you can do that anytime you want. 'Nuff said, Tober?
Your good pal,
Ziva Zophia (aka Zkhat, where NO ONE ABUSES ME!)
OMC, Tober! This is totally unacceptable behavior on the part of Rotten Ritchie! You must put your paw down...hopefully with claws out and in Rotten Ritchie's skin!!
Poor Tober!
Please remind Ritchie that he only works at the library, you live there.
And you can't have furniture without "fur."
I have my own rocking chair. Fur doesn't really stick too well there. But, then, I have a whole daybed to fur up. You are welcome to bisit any time. You will feel quite at ease here. We have lots of books!
Cat furs are an appropriate accessory for anything! Chairs, shirts, coats....anything! Tell him not to worry about cleaning the chairs, just leave them as they are. If someone has an issue with fur in their chair, well they can bring a blanket of something to cover it up so their precious bootie doesn't get furs on it. ;)
Don't worry, Tober. I'm a guy-human and my cats have me trained pretty well. But now I'm reminded that I have a pound cake waiting at home for me... Mmmm.
Tober,
We are going to come have a talk with your assistants about not helping you blog.
Sincerely,
Junior, Orion and Sammy
Tober! Your assistanst are really fired now! It is coming up on a month since they helped you blog! What in the world is going on there???
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