The Adventures of Chance, the Thorntown Library Cat

This has been a very unusual day and I have enjoyed it. Assistant Boss Karen apologized to me for the staff’s being too busy to give me the attention my position as Boss deserves. Seems as though many of the staff are out with winter colds, pneumonia, fog and icy roads, vacations, and Christmas preparations.

I sat at the door and howled after hearing the explanation.

For a while today the Assistant Boss was the only one here besides me, and the phone rang three times before she could get her coat off. Fortunately, Bonnie arrived to help, then Von and Helen and Fern. Fern has retired, but Karen drafted her as a sub today, and I really appreciated it. She praised me to some Friday afternoon quilters who have very nice hands. Karen also invited students in to play with me and that was entertaining even if they are not skilled with the red dot business.

Finally, Karen opened the door. I am perfectly happy moving among the four comfortable chairs in my office and I don’t feel a need to go exploring as long as I can see out the open door. I may sit in the doorway and observe, but I only ventured six feet beyond the doorway. If anyone approached, I ducked back into the sanctuary of my office. My readers need to understand that my door is glass, so I can see outside, but it is the PRINCIPLE of the thing—I felt better today to know the door was open. I was a VERY good cat.

I want to mention a book that is a very interesting read. My friend Tim Nash gave it to the “Library Ladies” for Christmas and it is being passed around my staff before being added to the library collection. I hasten to assure you that although Stephen Baker, the author, knows cats reasonably well, he does not have all the answers. First of all, the TITLE is a real insult: How to Live with a Neurotic Cat. He has also written about living with a neurotic dog, but I suppose it is too much to hope that he might write a book from my point of view and call it “How to Live with a Neurotic Human.”

He does have a wonderful chart that shows there is strong evidence that cats are superior to people. For example, humans have only 5 to 20 million olfactory cells and rarely use them for the purposes of survival, while cats have 67 million olfactory cells and can sniff out a tuna fish sandwich several rooms away. A human’s body structure has 204 bones while a cat’s has 244 bones. The human has a life expectancy of one, while a cat has nine lives.

Baker does have one very wise statement: “Cat’s greatest gift to the owner is that he lends you his presence. That should be more than enough.” He also notes that beds designed for pets are all right for dogs or human infants but that cats require REAL beds. Most beds sleep up to six cats, or ten cats without the owner. (I would also like to add the use of the term "owner" is a bit suspicious, since cats actually own the humans. You may substitute "person" in this case.)

He is correct when he writes that, “In trying to look good, a dog ends up making a fool of himself. He does what is expected of him and becomes a yes-dog in the process. There are NO yes-cats.” “Dogs may be bigger than cats, but not between the ears. If your home is not big enough for both your dog and cat, you have two choices. Get rid of the dog. Or move to a bigger home.” Regarding diet, Baker says that, “Cats need those calories. They may not move around as much as you do, but they expend a lot of energy using their minds.”

The book will be on the adult shelves in 636.8 BAK once the library ladies are willing to share it. I’ll be happy to help you find the book for you simply must see the drawings. It is a very quick read and the 9th and last chapter is the shortest. The chapter title is “Can a Neurotic Cat Be Cured?” The chapter says, “No.”

Tober

P.S. Karen finally brought some paperwork into my office this afternoon so that I could sit on it and supervise. I gave her some of my best purrs so that she knew I appreciated it and she assured me my input was very useful. Of course it was. I am CAT.