Friday, June 5, 2009

A letter to my V-e-t.

Dear Dr. Jon and Dr. Dave,

First of all, thank you Dr. Jon for telling my toenails to grow back. I am happy to report that my left toenails are almost as long as my right toenails, and they are very useful when I romp through the stacks in the mornings.

I would also like to let you know that you do not have to look in my ears when I visit you in the future. My Photographer has gotten annoyingly close when she takes pictures, and she has several pictures of my ears. This is one of several:

My right ear.
Above you can see that my right ear is very clean, and you don't need to poke anything in it when we next meet.

My feet also look very nice and healthy, so you don't need to touch those, either:

My front feets.
Please disregard that teensy piece of litter in my foot; I cleaned it immediately after this picture was taken.

My staff can vouch for me that I have no strange bumps, lumps, or lacerations anywhere on me. I use the box regularly, eat plenty, and am alert and inquisitive when I'm not busy napping.

Karen has duped me into eating teeth-cleaning treats, and I keep my teeth nice and strong by chewing on cords, paper, bows, and plants, so you don't need to look in my mouth.

I keep myself very clean, so there are other places you do not need to look. Pictures can be provided upon request. . . but I will not post them here.

So you see, when I visit for my annual exam, we can dispense with the formalities! I can gaze out your window for a few minutes, you can pat me on the head and rub my tummy, and I can be on my way!

Your fine specimen of Cathood,

Tober

PS--We don't need a weigh-in either. This isn't The Biggest Loser.

11 comments:

JC said...

I'm taking Jasmine in next Tuesday for her rabies shot and they reminded me that she needs her exam ... they require one every two years. I haven't told her yet .. she just LOVES the vet.

Jan's Funny Farm said...

You tell him, Tober! Is he listening?

The kitties over at Our family cat-a-blog said...

WOWZA! Youz gotz lotsa' rules fur youz dog-tor! Sad to re-purr-t dat our momma lets da vet do whatever she wantz ta us...sigh. Of course, in between timez our momma is alwayz pokin' and smellin' and checkin' things, too...for figure!

Reese =^..^= said...

Me no likey da V-E-T effer. Sometimes I just call him "Victim" Maybe, a'cuz I gots a voodoo doll I like to beat up dat looks just like my V-E-T

The Island Cats said...

Haha! We're not sure if that letter will stop you from having that annual v-e-t visit!

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Sorry to say, Tober, dat prolly won't work. We even hadded one come into our house and we think Speedy still will hafta go get checked...

Poppy Q said...

Haha Tober, I think you are right, you don't need to see the vet, cause you is a perfect specimen of a mancat.

Tuck said...

Tober, you have to let me know if that letter works! I will write one to my V-E-T too!

D said...

Maybe it would be a very good idea if I wrote one of those... My girl always gets very worried before she takes me to see Dr. Bob.

D'Artagnan du Chat Noir said...

P.S. "D", above is me. My mancat paws are so big I accidentally hit the Enter.

-D'Artagnan du Chat Noir, "All for one and one for all!"

Stella said...

Hi Dear Tober!

Brilliant letter and I may do some careful copying of it to send to my vet. I would like to include some information about how I NEVER go outside, so what do I need all these shots for, like rabies, or other things you get from other animals. The only other animal I am around is Stella the dog and I avoid her at all costs!

Good thinking, Tober, and let us know the results of this letter.

Purrrrrrrrs,
Ali Zophia (Zkhat)