Sunday, October 16, 2011

Not-Tober

Okay, friends. . . I played a trick on you, and it worked! You'll see what I mean.

I'm not sure where to begin today's post. Well, they say a picture is worth a skid-load of Temptations:


In case you don't notice anything wrong, let me illustrate the situation:


CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???

Yesterday's picture was all Wrong because it featured Not-Tober!

So, Friday this Evil Imposter Cat shows up at my Library. His accomplice was a man named Chester, and the story goes that Chester "found" this cat and wanted to "return" it to the library. MY library.

So everybody runs downstairs all upset because they think that I'm gone and back again. Which I'm not. I'm RIGHT NEXT TO AAB Kathy having a snooze.

And they let this Not-Tober in the library anyway! They call him "cute" and "sweet" and "adorable" and all of the other nice things that should be reserved for me. AB Karen thinks he belongs to one of our neighbors, so she calls to see if he does.

NO. He's a cute, sweet, adorable, LOST HOMELESS cat--which apparently made him even cuter, sweeter, and adorabler to (most of) my Disloyal Staff. (AAB Kathy B. did not waver in her Loyalty and Devotion to me for one moment.)

Accomplice Chester made up some story about having to go to work, and not being able to take the Evil Imposter out of the building until he is done with work. AB Karen got all Sad thinking that this cute, sweet, adorable, lost homeless Not-Tober would have to survive on the mean streets of Thorntown.

So she put him in my Office.

The one with my food and water and toys Feline Training Devices and toilet.


He used my toilet. He Number Oned AND Number Twoed in my super-awesome litter pan.

Then he trained with my Feline Training Devices,


sniffed my Catnip-scented floorspot,


ate MY treats off of MY desk,


and when he was all tired out from using all my stuff, he took a snooze in one of MY chairs.


Letting this Imposter into my Office isn't even the half of it. AAB Cathie visited him and petted him, and AAB Britta cuddled him, told him he was the cutest, and came back from lunch early to see him. AAB Christine spent her whole lunch hour entertaining him--and she has never once in the history of my Librarycatdomhood EVER spent her lunch hour with me!

Then they made "Found Cat" posters to hang up, and they let him help. Friends, he helped type his own "Found Cat" poster on the very keyboard I use to write this blog. AAB Becki hung them up around town.


This is my Finding Month, and my most Trusted Staff let this Not-Tober into my Library.


Here I am being Mad Mad Mad because this cute stupid cat is in my Office. I would say I hate him, but they tell me that is Not a Nice Word. So I really really don't like this new weird-smelling teenage cat One Bit and I want him to leave.

My whole Office stinks like cute, sweet, adorable, lost homeless cat. I made AAB Christine Lysol her desk. AAB Britta is out buying Febreze.

And Guess What?

His accomplice, Chester, stopped by right before closing, picked him up, and took him home. (Home = Not My Library) Chester will foster him until someone claims him; otherwise, he will keep him (out of my library, hopefully) Forever.

As a result of this Most Horrible 14th Day of my Finding Month, I have Fired AB Karen and AABs Christine, Britta, Ritchie (he played with it! and he's Allergic!), and sadly, Becki and Cathie. (Becki and Cathie are two of my Favorites; the others were hanging on by a thread.)

AAB Kathy, who spent the day with me and did not ONCE visit the Not-Tober, has been promoted to Chief Treat-Giver and Tummy-Rubber.

I am relieved to have my Library all to myself again, but it's going to be days before the Not-Tober stink clears out of here.

The One and Only,

Tober

20 comments:

Katnip Lounge said...

WELL. What a revoltin' development! The PERFIDITY of your staff! Having said that, we are glad Not-Tober is/has a home now, and NOT in your (staff-less)library.

AND he used your toilet. That's the worst part.

Fisher and Staff said...

That is quite a story, Tober. You have definitely been through lot! I hope you will have a very calm week coming up.

G said...

This story has a lot of potential as a sit-com.

Perhaps once you hire new staff one of them can post pics side by side of you and the interloper because you look an awful lot alike! Fake Tober did seem to get comfortable mighty fast at "your" library, didn't he? The nerve!

Fuzzy Tales said...

OMC, what a horrific story, Tober! Aaccckkkk! We can't even wrap our heads around all you had to endure. Though we ARE happy NOT-Tober will have a home!

~*Connie*~ said...

Not-Tober.. lol..Love his name.

Oh Tober, I can understand the indignity of it all, but you have to realize there are homeless kitties out there who do not have it nearly as good as you (even with all that betrayal) and poor Not-Tober was in need..

While I understand it was very hard for you to watch that intruder play ... no no , train with your training devices, and use your facilities, it was very big of you to not force him to stop nor lash out. You are such a good boy.. I do hope you get a few extra treats :)

Oskar said...

Not-Tober used your litter box? That's not right.

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar

Stella said...

Ohhhh, Tober! What a shocking, disturbing experience! I had no idea it wasn't you, and maybe even some of us faithful readers were upset at the trick your staff (former) played on all of us. They should be ashamed! Even Stella (and you know how dogs are) thought it was terrible NotTober used your training things AND your toilet.

I hope you can find a good spot to rest in the sun and get over this while you hire new people.

Purrs and pats, Ali Zophia

Sparkle said...

Wow, Tober, I am shocked! Those humans deserved to be fired for their insubordination!! All kitties deserve homes, of course, but you already have yours, and it is the library! That other kitty (who really IS sorta cute) should have been taken immediately to a different home that was Not Yours.

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Wow, you had an adventure right in your own library/office. Didn't even have to leave the building. We can imagine you are glad Non-Tober has left but has a home. It's a shame you had to fire so many of your staff. You're going to have to work even harder now. :(

The Island Cats said...

Oh Tober!! We don't blame you for being upset!! But thank goodness Not-Tober has been taken out of your library, never to use your toilet again...hopefully.

And hopefully he will find a home...or a library of his own.

Cheyenne -Millie said...

Oh My!!! I can understand that upset feeling you have! I would be mad too! We do hopes that Not Tober gets found by his family... if not then at least finds a forever home!!

Anonymous said...

Psst...Tober, I know that Not Tober invaded your space - but you could be a hero in helping to find him a home (bonus - he won't be in your library again) and then be even more famous than you already are !!!

ellie said...

Poor you! We had no idea that the cat was a Tober imposter!! Hope the cat scent goes soon! and that the kitty's owner is found :)

Junior and Orion said...

Holy smokes Tober! He is practically your twin! We bet there are some differences, but we couldn't see them! We are so glad he has a foster home till he can find a purrmanent home! And we are very glad he has left your home!

Morgan the Library Bunny said...

Why do the humans do goofy things like this? I mean, it was good that the homeless kitty got rescued when so many of them don't, but to attempt to take over your Librarycatdomhood? Unacceptable!

Laila and Minchie said...

OMC! What a nightmare of a day for you, Tober! Thank cod Chester came back for him and will foster him until his owners can be located. Hope you are getting LOTS of extra treats for what THEY put you through!

Cat Mandu said...

Wait!!
That looks like your long-lost brother, Homer!

Luxington said...

OMC!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Tober,

Just stumbled on you and this hilarious story of Not Tober. You're definitely funnier! But it is sort of fitting that you helped him find a home while you celebrated your finding day. Of course he shouldn't have eaten your foods or played with your toys, and especially shouldn't have used your box. But he's gone now...maybe you'll want to keep some of your staff after all?

Lizzie & 3 kitties

Kitikata-san said...

Very Tricky! There is Tober and Not Tober!