Thursday, November 10, 2011

A Perfect Specimen of Cathood

I started blogging this blog post ELEVEN (11) DAYS AGO.

Never mind. I started blogging this blog post THIRTEEN (13) DAYS AGO.

So you will notice a change in tone. . . from crabby NEGLECTED library Boss Cat to crabby SORE poked and prodded evil v-e-t experiment. AAB Blog Helper promises that she will never Neglect me and this Very Important Blog (V.I.B.) ever again and has tearfully cancelled her Thanksgiving plans.

Here you have the recap of my Horriblefying Experience at the my annual checkup:

I don't know why they even bother taking me to the V-E-T anymore. I eat well, I use my box in an acceptable manner, I drink lots of waters, and I get plenty of rest. I don't have any lumps, bumps, or lacerations, and my Assistants smear that awful Flea-stuff on me once a month without fail.

I don't cough or sneeze or urp too much (except for Hairballs, which makes me feel like a Million Bucks afterward), and I have nice clean ears and bright eyes and strong Heart.

So why do we have to visit Thorntown Veterinary Clinic every year???

I think AB Karen and AAB Christine just like going on a Field Trip.

I must say I get V.I.P. treatment when I arrive at the Clinic. I am whisked away into a room where they check to see whether I've gotten heavy from the many, many treats I receive as a Beloved Library Cat:


Guess what? 10.06 pounds of Feline Purrfection!

BRING ON THE TREATS, PEOPLE!!!

Then AB Karen holds me while we wait for Dr. Jon, the poker-prodder-needle-sticker, to come in and try to make nice with me.

Here she is lying and telling me everything will be okay:


See my face? I know what's going on here. Things are going to get personal.

Then Dr. Jon comes in. He's all smiles, 'cause I don't guess it's everyday a big Library/Internet Celebrity visits his V-E-T Torture Chamber Clinic. I don't smile or purr or headbutt him even one time.


Here we are later in the examination. Please note how my right paw is very near the edge of the exam table. Kitties, if you can grab the edge of that table, you are only one more paw away from freedom!


Here Dr. Jon is using the V-E-T version of the Vulcan Death Grip in order to keep me manageable. He is, as usual, in Awe of my awesome Mancatliness, and very relieved that I don't have front toenails.


After that things get really bad:


And then they get worse:


See the paw!?!? Almost free! But Dr. Jon meant business, and he had my Assistants and his Helper guarding the door, so I eventually succumbed to the vaccinations, even the most Horriblest one that makes that terrible POP!

I have been declared Healthy for the next One Whole Year. My AB and AAB insist that Dr. Jon was very gentle with me and that the people at the Thorntown Veterinary Clinic are a great group of caring professionals. (Whatever. I saw them all smiling and laughing while I was suffering terrible indignities.)

No, really, they're great!

Waiting for my bribes treats, and

Purrfectly yours,

Tober

14 comments:

Gods Little People said...

Dear poor Tober
- this sure has got to cost a WHOLE lot of treats! The things that you had to endure. But on the other side.. all the fuss and horrible prodding, it has all paid off. You look fit as a fiddle - just like we like to see kitties look!! You are gorgeous.

Laila and Minchie said...

What a brave mancat you were, Tober! So glad you passed all the pokings and stabbings with flying colors!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Princess Jasmine said...

Awwww Tober I can so sympathise with you. I had that very same trip last Saturday. Glad you got a good bill of health too. Phew, that's us done for another year :)xx

Fuzzy Tales said...

Oh, dear, we're only seeing this now! What an ordeal! We feel for you, Tober. We're NOT GOOD in the PTU or the taxis, though we're not too bad once we're there. Squirmy, but not vet killers. Now, "angel" Annie was a bit more of a challenge--good in the PTU and taxi, but NOT good once there. Her "swearing" was known far and wide. :-P

Anyway, we're very glad you are fit and healthy and don't need to go back for a year!

Percy the Cat said...

You were very brave and mancatly. Because our mum has to take care of three of us, she gets the v-e-t to come to us. She says it's less stress for everyone, and we don't have to meet any scary doggies at the v-e-t office.

We are glad to hear that you are healthy and happy. Definitely a reason for more treats!

Sparkle said...

Tober, we ALL hate the vet! I don't know why humans subject us to this terrible experience. They must be closet sadists.

Stella said...

Hi Handsome Tober! I have a new thing I am using for vet trips. My Mom puts me in my cage and takes me to the vet on the city bus and I started screaming all the way. Heh, heh, I am no longer welcome on the bus. So my Mom asks a friend to drive us to the Vet and after the first several blocks of screaming she said NO, THIS IS HORRIBLE, and turns around and we all go home. My Mom says she no longer cares if I am a well cat or not and she will not be taking me to the vet ever again. Like you, I am big, healthy, shiney furred, lump and bump free, clean eared, and just wish to be left alone. So if screaming is what it takes,
so be it. Us indoor cats are OK, I say!

Your special girlcat,
Ali Zophia (Zkhat)

Fisher and Staff said...

From here, you look remarkably well-behaved, Tober. Stay well!

ellie said...

Oh Tober, what an ordeal you had to endure!Being poked and proded by the unspeakable man in white coat!Hope you got a can of tuna and lots of treats afterwards :)

Junior, Orion and Sammy said...

I understand just how you feel Tober!!!! The things we are subjected to at the v-e-t are just horrible! I hope I never have to go there again.....unfortunately being an FIV+ kitty, I will most likely end up there again. Bummer.

My brofurs and I are very glad you checked out all healthy and we hope you get lots of treats for putting up with that treatment so nicely.

Sammy

Link Bartholomew said...

Tober, this post confirms my belief that you are the total orange Mancat package. We do not settle for injustices do we? You're fighting instinct is admirable.

Cat Mandu said...

For Pete's sake, Tober.
The doctors are nice. And the helpers all come for their kisses and hugs.
I love my Vet's office.
But I'm glad you survived! The doctor looks like a nice fellow to me.
Mandu

The Island Cats said...

Tober, we are so glad that you survived all that.

Kitikata-san said...

You are such a good boy!!