Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Tober's War on Produce

My Library is being invaded by things called Produce (or, more commonly, Vegetables).

In case you haven't noticed, I have a kind of food-y Library. My staff likes snacks, especially when they involve chocolate, but they also like anything that can be baked, iced, or spread on a cracker. I am fine with all of these foods being here (and I love love love that Whipped Cream stuff), but I have a problem with Produce.

As you probably know, I assault Apples frequently, even if they travel in small groups. Assistant Boss Karen hides them in drawers, but when she opens the drawer, I pick them up and throw them in a wastebasket. I also slap dried gourds around. They look like they used to be Produce before they died.

I thought I had Karen's Produce problem under control until I went into the office one day and found a small green object.

What have we here?
I have learned that this is a Cucumber.

Can you make this go away, please?  It doesn't have a stem.
I bit at it with my sharp teeths and licked it and pushed it a little bit, but it was blocked in by piles of Very Important Library Papers. Assistant Assistant Boss Christine reported to Karen that I was displeased with the Cucumber, and that she should take it away (and also wash it before eating). It was removed immediately--hopefully away from Library property.

AAB taunted me with a Cherry shortly thereafter. I was not impressed with the Cherry, so Christine ate it before I could throw it into the wastebasket.

My AB Karen has been at the Indiana State Fair surrounded by Produce and Gourds for the past several days, so I imagine that her fascination with Produce would end--or at least be satisfied for a few months. I was happily enjoying a Produce-free workplace when, earlier this week, I hopped onto Bonnie's desk to find. . .

. . . a Zucchini!

Produce should never be allowed to get this large.
This is the Biggest Produce that has invaded my Library yet! I would never have expected this of Assistant Assistant Boss Bonnie, who indulges my love of Catnip and keeps a special slidey-drawer for my sitting pleasure. Treachery!

I can't explain my dislike for Produce. I think it's weird-looking. It doesn't look like there's any proper way to eat it, especially if you're a Cat. It's hard to get my teeths into, and it rolls when I try to get my paws around it. I am really glad I'm an Indoor cat, because I hear that there is a lot of Produce running wild out there. Armies and armies of things called Corn and Beans.

Whew, am I one lucky Cat.

Tober

16 comments:

♥Da fambly cat-a-blog kitties♥ said...

We doesn't like those produce things, either. They have no purr-pose or function in life. Wait, could fresh 'nip be catty-gorized as produce? Ooooo, this may take some thought...

Laila and Minchie said...

Hey, tell them catnip is produce and they should bring a plant or two or three in for you.

SeaThreePeeO said...

Someone must be planted that produce around as some sort of a evil plot. After all produce can only be used for evil!

Amy said...

I have to say that my kitties would not agree on ALL produce being bad - they love cherry tomatoes because they are great to bat around on the floor. If you have not seen them, they are like little balls - you might not hate them because you could play with them.

Those are some very cute pictures of you with all that produce - maybe one day you won't mind it being there.

The Island Cats said...

The only produce I like is tomatoes! Mom can't leave one sitting on the counter...I'll whap it off and then start playing with it! I don't know about that zucchini thing...that would not be easy to play with!

Wally

Reese =^..^= said...

If it's not tuna, it's not food.

Junior and Orion said...

OMC!!! Over run by produce! Good thing you have plenty of places to hide it....err hide from it!

Tuck said...

Tober, you don't know what you are missing! I love lettuce and tomatoes...they are yummy!

The Kitty Krew said...

That's an awful lot of weird looking stuff, Tober. We're with you, we don't think we'd like it. Of course, since The Mommy isn't real big on much Produce, either, we guess we'll never find out! MOL

Purrs and hugs,
The Kitty Krew

Jack and Persephone said...

Those produces are weird! I think you'd better whap them and bite them good! Show them who's boss-cat around there!

http://cheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=3311658

~Persephone

Cheyenne -Millie said...

My sister (who is no longer here) love corn! She would steal corn on the cob from the human's plates!

Kitikata-san said...

Oh, I can't take it, you are so cute! Oh, I just love looking at you Library Cat! You have to be the best Library Cat in Indiana!

Poppy Q said...

My mum used to live with a cat Puss who liked to eat corn on the cob. I don't like vegetables either.

Noir in Texas said...

I'm not feeling the produce thing either....uck. Where's the rotessirie chicken???? :)

Aoise said...

Produce...in a library. Stwange. I thought the beans kept books in there...another useless item unless they big enough to lie on.

Cat with a Garden said...

Hahahaha! We're fascinated at the amount of produce you're encountering in your library. We're actually Gardening Cats, but truth is even we haven't seen that much "vegetables" around. You sure showed them!