Tober's War on Produce

My Library is being invaded by things called Produce (or, more commonly, Vegetables).

In case you haven't noticed, I have a kind of food-y Library. My staff likes snacks, especially when they involve chocolate, but they also like anything that can be baked, iced, or spread on a cracker. I am fine with all of these foods being here (and I love love love that Whipped Cream stuff), but I have a problem with Produce.

As you probably know, I assault Apples frequently, even if they travel in small groups. Assistant Boss Karen hides them in drawers, but when she opens the drawer, I pick them up and throw them in a wastebasket. I also slap dried gourds around. They look like they used to be Produce before they died.

I thought I had Karen's Produce problem under control until I went into the office one day and found a small green object.


I have learned that this is a Cucumber.


I bit at it with my sharp teeths and licked it and pushed it a little bit, but it was blocked in by piles of Very Important Library Papers. Assistant Assistant Boss Christine reported to Karen that I was displeased with the Cucumber, and that she should take it away (and also wash it before eating). It was removed immediately--hopefully away from Library property.

AAB taunted me with a Cherry shortly thereafter. I was not impressed with the Cherry, so Christine ate it before I could throw it into the wastebasket.

My AB Karen has been at the Indiana State Fair surrounded by Produce and Gourds for the past several days, so I imagine that her fascination with Produce would end--or at least be satisfied for a few months. I was happily enjoying a Produce-free workplace when, earlier this week, I hopped onto Bonnie's desk to find. . .

. . . a Zucchini!


This is the Biggest Produce that has invaded my Library yet! I would never have expected this of Assistant Assistant Boss Bonnie, who indulges my love of Catnip and keeps a special slidey-drawer for my sitting pleasure. Treachery!

I can't explain my dislike for Produce. I think it's weird-looking. It doesn't look like there's any proper way to eat it, especially if you're a Cat. It's hard to get my teeths into, and it rolls when I try to get my paws around it. I am really glad I'm an Indoor cat, because I hear that there is a lot of Produce running wild out there. Armies and armies of things called Corn and Beans.

Whew, am I one lucky Cat.

Tober