Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Put out.

This morning I went Downstairs by the meeting rooms to say Hi and na-na-na-na boo-boo to my Enemy Oreo. Oreo is an Outside Cat who comes to my glass doors and windows and we have Slap-fights. (My Assistant Bosses say it is good that we only have Slap-fights and not real fights, because I don't have any toenails. I think they secretly like this Oreo.)

While I was saying Hi and na-na-na-na boo-boo to Oreo, a Man who is being trained as a People Counter Census Taker saw me and decided that I wanted to Go Outside. So he opened the door and put me Outside.

So what did I do, you ask?

I came back Inside.

And guess what? This very determined Man put me Outside again!

Then he closed the door and left me on the Outside of my Library.

This is the horrible door where it all took place:

Abandon all hope ye who exit here.
I do not go Outside unless I am being hugged by Assistant Cat-Carrier Christine for a trip to the V-E-T. I do not like it. There are things missing from the Outside, like comfy chairs, cans of Whisker Lickin's, belly rubs, and My Staff.

I was Outside for TWO WHOLE HOURS! It took TWO WHOLE HOURS for My Staff to realize that I was not Inside anymore!

Two of them passed right by me to get into the Library!

I was in the bushes at left.
I was in these bushes because they were Safe and near my Library.

I was way back in here:


They tell me that they searched the whole building for me and could not find me (yeah right) and Assistant Assistant Boss Becki finally interrupted the Census Taker Training Time and said "Hey have you people seen our Boss Tober?" and they said "Yes, we let him go Outside."

Which is not quite true because they MADE me leave. I am very small and could not make them understand that I live Inside.

Anyway, Assistant Assistant Boss Becki made them stop what they were doing and come help look for me (which is okay because they needed a break and some Fresh Air). So they walked around the building looking for me.

AAB Becki found me in the bushes and WOW she put a squeeze on me like I've never been squeezed. I was getting a little squashed but I didn't mind One Bit because she brought me Inside where I got treats and tummy tubs and hugs and more treats and everyone was very Happy and Relieved to see me again.

Which is good because if they hadn't brought me Inside I would have fired Every Last One of Them.

Now we (meaning Not Me) are in the process of hanging signs on all of the Library doors:

The things they do for Love.
I have decided that the Outside is fun to look at, but it is for the birds and squirrels and flowers and stuff. I will continue to Slap-fight at Oreo, but she can keep her Outside. In here I have air conditioning and all the People I need.

Yep, the Outside and I will get along just fine, so long as it stays Outside and I stay Inside.

Pooped.
You know none of this would have happened if everybody had just filled out their Census Forms,

Tober

23 comments:

JC said...

I am so glad they ... your staff ... found you. How scary for you. Did you get dirty out there ?

Poppy Q said...

Tober I am glad you are safe, and made it back to your inside home. Good idea with the notices on the doors.

Do you think they could add a line?

My name is Tober and I love treats!!

Smooches to you little advernturer guy

Amy and The House of Cats said...

Oh Tober how awful for you! We can't believe that the crazy census guy put you outside! We are so happy that AAB Becki found you - they must have all been very worried!! And we think that the signs are a great idea - they will help to keep you safe!

The Oesch Chronicles said...

So glad that you are safe and sound! I would miss you so much!

Jan's Funny Farm said...

He put you outside? Without even speaking to staff?

We are so glad your staff finally missed you and found you.

Katnip Lounge said...

Oh Tober, we were on the edge of our pantaloons reading this story! Thank goodness you didn't have to fire any of your Staff.
Oh, and Mommy mailed her census in the week she got it.
XX Lounge Kats

Laila and Minchie said...

Thank cod you are safely back inside where you belong Tober! Good idea about the signs.

Cats in Trees said...

What an ordeal you went through. But unwillingly you were an important part of census taker training. It's not a good idea for them to kick cats out of houses or libraries.

SuziQCat said...

How rude of those folks to put you out without even knowing that it is YOUR library! I'm glad you were found safe and sound...

The Paw Relations said...

OMC Tober! We're so glad that you were founded! It must have been a very scary experience for you xxx

Cat of Nine Tales said...

My goodness! The adventures of a Library cat are wild indeed!
~Lisa Co9T

jimbo said...

what a relief to hear that all is well with you..thank God! The notice on the window and wall is indeed the best idea!!

Lary said...

Hello Boss Tober, I am Contessa De Meow, Investigator for Chief Musette. We heard about your adventure from Lumpy Luna (our cat-snitch) and would be happy to offer our services should you ever have need. Our latest case ,"Mystery of the disappearing boxes", has been solved and we have time on our paws.
Sincerely, Contessa De Meow

Anonymous said...

The census takers were thankful that you were found and had not gone to the catnip patch!

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Oh my, that sounds very scary. Sometimes people think they're doing the right thing even when they're not. The signs should help them. Humans are, after all, just human.

The Island Cats said...

What an adventure you had, Tober! We hope that it never happens to you again!

Sparkle said...

How dare that human, manhandling you and casting you out like a common alley cat! The signs are a very good idea - I'm surprised you did not order them made up sooner!

Anonymous said...

Tober,
That's very scary. I am so happy you're safe & back inside your library ;-)

Cat Mandu said...

Tober, I just read your shocking story. I am so glad you are OK.
Cat Mandu

Charlemagne and Tamar said...

Oh dear, Tober! We're so glad that you stayed right near the doors and that the Staff found you, even if it was two very, very long hours. That must have been so scary for you!

Sending happy purrs that you are back inside where you belong and that the Outside is staying where it belongs,
Charlemagne and Tamar

Percy the Cat said...

My goodness, those census-taker beans made a big Mistake. It's a good thing that there are now signs so that no one can make that Mistake again.

We are very relieved that you are back inside your library!

Cheyenne -Millie said...

Oh dear Tober! They should really fire that census taker! We are glad you are back inside!

Tuck said...

Tober, that sounds so very scary! I am sure glad that you made it though the ordeal! Mr. Census Taker sounds like he needs a lesson or two. You should ban him from your building!!