Put out.

This morning I went Downstairs by the meeting rooms to say Hi and na-na-na-na boo-boo to my Enemy Oreo. Oreo is an Outside Cat who comes to my glass doors and windows and we have Slap-fights. (My Assistant Bosses say it is good that we only have Slap-fights and not real fights, because I don't have any toenails. I think they secretly like this Oreo.)

While I was saying Hi and na-na-na-na boo-boo to Oreo, a Man who is being trained as a People Counter Census Taker saw me and decided that I wanted to Go Outside. So he opened the door and put me Outside.

So what did I do, you ask?

I came back Inside.

And guess what? This very determined Man put me Outside again!

Then he closed the door and left me on the Outside of my Library.

This is the horrible door where it all took place:


I do not go Outside unless I am being hugged by Assistant Cat-Carrier Christine for a trip to the V-E-T. I do not like it. There are things missing from the Outside, like comfy chairs, cans of Whisker Lickin's, belly rubs, and My Staff.

I was Outside for TWO WHOLE HOURS! It took TWO WHOLE HOURS for My Staff to realize that I was not Inside anymore!

Two of them passed right by me to get into the Library!


I was in these bushes because they were Safe and near my Library.

I was way back in here:


They tell me that they searched the whole building for me and could not find me (yeah right) and Assistant Assistant Boss Becki finally interrupted the Census Taker Training Time and said "Hey have you people seen our Boss Tober?" and they said "Yes, we let him go Outside."

Which is not quite true because they MADE me leave. I am very small and could not make them understand that I live Inside.

Anyway, Assistant Assistant Boss Becki made them stop what they were doing and come help look for me (which is okay because they needed a break and some Fresh Air). So they walked around the building looking for me.

AAB Becki found me in the bushes and WOW she put a squeeze on me like I've never been squeezed. I was getting a little squashed but I didn't mind One Bit because she brought me Inside where I got treats and tummy tubs and hugs and more treats and everyone was very Happy and Relieved to see me again.

Which is good because if they hadn't brought me Inside I would have fired Every Last One of Them.

Now we (meaning Not Me) are in the process of hanging signs on all of the Library doors:


I have decided that the Outside is fun to look at, but it is for the birds and squirrels and flowers and stuff. I will continue to Slap-fight at Oreo, but she can keep her Outside. In here I have air conditioning and all the People I need.

Yep, the Outside and I will get along just fine, so long as it stays Outside and I stay Inside.


You know none of this would have happened if everybody had just filled out their Census Forms,

Tober