Tober's Tuesday

I had two very interesting visits on Tuesday. As a result, I am All Worn Out and sleeping in My Office.


First, David Alan Z. (yes, the Tober Putter-Outer/Census Man) brought in his birthday card from his wife. On the front was a gold tabby Cat in a birthday hat—-not as handsome as me, but looking very Celebratory. (Also, I would never wear a hat. Please refer to my St. Patrick's Day post.) When My Staff opened the card, there was a picture of many celebrating gold cats and they Meowed the “Happy Birthday” song, even the ". . . and many more!" in Loud Meows. My Staff, unfortunately, thought this was very funny, but I just had to Turn My Back and Flatten My Ears. People will have to learn that birthdays are for Tummy Rubs, Whipped Cream cake frosting, and compliments to me!

For our Senior Lunch Program we have cake almost every day because we celebrate birthdays of even those people who are not at lunch that day. . . we celebrate sunshine. . . we celebrate the fact that Ritchie has our floors shining. . . we celebrate that computers are working fine, that books stand up Straight on the shelves, and that everyone came to Work. . . we celebrate that I, Tober, am Boss of the Library. We have cake for any reason.

As for me, I still prefer crunchy cat Treats, but I have recently been known to steal a straw and bat it across the floor or across the AB’s desk. I am waiting for whipped cream icing.

Next, after working All Day to change filters on the heating and cooling system, John of Precision Control Systems of Indianapolis gave me a great head-scratching. AB Karen gave him the jar of Kitty Treats and I showed him where it is kept in the upper right desk drawer. Then I showed him how neatly I eat one Tidbit at a time. He was very impressed. John and his helpers do a great job of keeping My Library very comfortable, but he did startle me today. I heard him on the roof above my Napping Place and thought he might be a BIG Bird. He promised to bring Treats the next time he comes. He is behind—-David Alan Z. already brought treats. John is forgiven, however, for this was his First Visit, and he did not realize I am Boss of the Library and that I will be the one to OK his company’s Invoice.

Bossing is Exhausting,

Tober

Put out.

This morning I went Downstairs by the meeting rooms to say Hi and na-na-na-na boo-boo to my Enemy Oreo. Oreo is an Outside Cat who comes to my glass doors and windows and we have Slap-fights. (My Assistant Bosses say it is good that we only have Slap-fights and not real fights, because I don't have any toenails. I think they secretly like this Oreo.)

While I was saying Hi and na-na-na-na boo-boo to Oreo, a Man who is being trained as a People Counter Census Taker saw me and decided that I wanted to Go Outside. So he opened the door and put me Outside.

So what did I do, you ask?

I came back Inside.

And guess what? This very determined Man put me Outside again!

Then he closed the door and left me on the Outside of my Library.

This is the horrible door where it all took place:


I do not go Outside unless I am being hugged by Assistant Cat-Carrier Christine for a trip to the V-E-T. I do not like it. There are things missing from the Outside, like comfy chairs, cans of Whisker Lickin's, belly rubs, and My Staff.

I was Outside for TWO WHOLE HOURS! It took TWO WHOLE HOURS for My Staff to realize that I was not Inside anymore!

Two of them passed right by me to get into the Library!


I was in these bushes because they were Safe and near my Library.

I was way back in here:


They tell me that they searched the whole building for me and could not find me (yeah right) and Assistant Assistant Boss Becki finally interrupted the Census Taker Training Time and said "Hey have you people seen our Boss Tober?" and they said "Yes, we let him go Outside."

Which is not quite true because they MADE me leave. I am very small and could not make them understand that I live Inside.

Anyway, Assistant Assistant Boss Becki made them stop what they were doing and come help look for me (which is okay because they needed a break and some Fresh Air). So they walked around the building looking for me.

AAB Becki found me in the bushes and WOW she put a squeeze on me like I've never been squeezed. I was getting a little squashed but I didn't mind One Bit because she brought me Inside where I got treats and tummy tubs and hugs and more treats and everyone was very Happy and Relieved to see me again.

Which is good because if they hadn't brought me Inside I would have fired Every Last One of Them.

Now we (meaning Not Me) are in the process of hanging signs on all of the Library doors:


I have decided that the Outside is fun to look at, but it is for the birds and squirrels and flowers and stuff. I will continue to Slap-fight at Oreo, but she can keep her Outside. In here I have air conditioning and all the People I need.

Yep, the Outside and I will get along just fine, so long as it stays Outside and I stay Inside.


You know none of this would have happened if everybody had just filled out their Census Forms,

Tober