Showing posts with label cucumbers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cucumbers. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Tober's War on Produce

My Library is being invaded by things called Produce (or, more commonly, Vegetables).

In case you haven't noticed, I have a kind of food-y Library. My staff likes snacks, especially when they involve chocolate, but they also like anything that can be baked, iced, or spread on a cracker. I am fine with all of these foods being here (and I love love love that Whipped Cream stuff), but I have a problem with Produce.

As you probably know, I assault Apples frequently, even if they travel in small groups. Assistant Boss Karen hides them in drawers, but when she opens the drawer, I pick them up and throw them in a wastebasket. I also slap dried gourds around. They look like they used to be Produce before they died.

I thought I had Karen's Produce problem under control until I went into the office one day and found a small green object.

What have we here?
I have learned that this is a Cucumber.

Can you make this go away, please?  It doesn't have a stem.
I bit at it with my sharp teeths and licked it and pushed it a little bit, but it was blocked in by piles of Very Important Library Papers. Assistant Assistant Boss Christine reported to Karen that I was displeased with the Cucumber, and that she should take it away (and also wash it before eating). It was removed immediately--hopefully away from Library property.

AAB taunted me with a Cherry shortly thereafter. I was not impressed with the Cherry, so Christine ate it before I could throw it into the wastebasket.

My AB Karen has been at the Indiana State Fair surrounded by Produce and Gourds for the past several days, so I imagine that her fascination with Produce would end--or at least be satisfied for a few months. I was happily enjoying a Produce-free workplace when, earlier this week, I hopped onto Bonnie's desk to find. . .

. . . a Zucchini!

Produce should never be allowed to get this large.
This is the Biggest Produce that has invaded my Library yet! I would never have expected this of Assistant Assistant Boss Bonnie, who indulges my love of Catnip and keeps a special slidey-drawer for my sitting pleasure. Treachery!

I can't explain my dislike for Produce. I think it's weird-looking. It doesn't look like there's any proper way to eat it, especially if you're a Cat. It's hard to get my teeths into, and it rolls when I try to get my paws around it. I am really glad I'm an Indoor cat, because I hear that there is a lot of Produce running wild out there. Armies and armies of things called Corn and Beans.

Whew, am I one lucky Cat.

Tober