Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Insult & Injury

Note:  This is a late post.  AB Traitor Christine was having "rotation issues" with her phone.  That's what she gets for putting me through all of what you'll read below.

Well, I went to the V-E-T today for my Annual Rear-end Stabbing.  I almost got lucky.  AAB Karen took a day off and left AB Christine in charge of taking me in, which was not a very smart thing to do.  AB Christine was all "La-de-dah, Tober's appointment is on Tuesday, La-de-dah, typity-type" and had no clue that I was supposed to be somewhere at 2:20pm.  It's extra funny because AAB Karen emailed her from HOME to remind her and she was all, "I got this" and still she forgot. 

So we got a call from the V-E-T office (they don't want to miss a chance to torment a cat) saying "Hey where is Tober?" and my posse rounded me up and away we went.

AB Christine drove (!) and AAB Britta hugged me.

So we got there thirty minutes late and I got weighed and Britta and Christine told the technician how awesome I am.  I don't have any lumps or bumps and I eat Good Life and I use the box and I most certainly do NOT scoot because gentleman-cats do not do such things. 

Then the technician said she had to ask extra questions this time around because I am--you won't believe this, guys--a "senior" cat.

A senior cat.

There's something off about that, though.  I looked up this nifty Cat-to-Human age chart.

This is worth Biggifying!

According to this chart and due to my Indoor-onlyness, I am forty-four (44) in Human years.

Here is your assignment, blog readers:  Go find a 44-year-old Human and offer her a Senior Discount.  Let me know what happens.

Anyhoo, I do not feel like a senior cat.  I am in my prime!  And it's how I feel that matters, right?

Then Dr. Jon examined me (which is very rude) and stabbed me in the rear-end while Christine laughed and took pictures and Britta felt sorry for me.

See me grabbing for the edge of the table?  Cats, that's a good move to use--one of these days it's going to work and I'll never have to go to the V-E-T again!  (Dogs, I'm not sure if your paws are flexy-bendy enough to accomplish the "counter grab" so you might want to experiment a little before trying it at the V-E-T.)

After the poking and prodding and staring into my eyeballs and earholes Dr. Jon's minion presented me with THIS:

Feline equivalent of an AARP mailing.
See all of that stuff?  Click to biggify the picture, or I suppose I can just tell you what you're "missing."  There's a whole stack of stuff on "senior" cat problems, none of which apply to me.  There's also a bag of enormous, stinky vitamins that AB Christine tried disguising as treats.  (I did not even come close to falling for that shenanigan.)

Oh, and don't forget the HOT PINK feline training device!  It's in Christine's drawer right now, but it was kind of fun seeing how well she's trained.  She throws it across the library, and I stare at her until she goes to pick it up.  So maybe I should call it a Human Training Device!

My library ladies say I should be Thankful that I have such a fantastic V-E-T office staff and I suppose they are right.  THANKS Dr. Jon and Thorntown Veterinary Clinic staff!  I was only sore for one (1) whole day.  They're definitely a great place to take your pets to be tortured treated.

My next post is going to be super-awesome!  Something special arrived in the mail today!

Healthy, prime-time purrs and vigorous headbutts,



da tabbies o trout towne said... fishes on gettin social seCATity benny fitz.....we iz still waitin...n hope everee one at yur houz haza happee non burd pie filled thanx bee givin :)

Jo's World said...

Hiya Tober! Or should I just say
"Old Geezer Tober" or maybe "Senior Dude"? I have solved the visiting the vet issue.
When someone makes an appt with the Vet, and puts me in my traveling case in the back seat of the car, I scream as loud as I can for every mile we have to travel.Now the Mum never mentions the Vet . . .hmmm, wonder why?

Get smart, Tober, give it a try.

Your pal,
Ziva Zophia Tortie (aka Zkhat)

Unknown said...

Mum says she never mentions that word it is off limits in our house...
Purrs, Miss Kitty

Sparkle said...

Tober we are ALL older than you - at 11 in human years, I am the youngest - and NONE of us kitties act old and we are all very healthy! Fie on that stupid chart! Sheesh.

Laila and Angel Minchie said...

Oh, Tober, you were so brave! And NO WAY are you a senior dood! Happy Thanksgiving and hope you get some turkey noms.

Book Dragon said...

Thank you for the graphic, it says that my cats are over 100. No wonder they only want to lay on the bed or couch and sleep!

Poppy Q said...

I hope you get a senior discount on treats Tober. Glad to hear you are healthy.

Have a great weekend.

Julie and Poppy Q

Angel Junior, Orion and Sammy said...

We are so very glad you are so healthy!!!