Enemy at the Gate!!!!

I was on High Alert the other night! It seems a horrible slobbering monster was trying to get in my Library! AAB Christine and AB Karen were working downstairs when they noticed a monstrous presence at the door. Christine ran and got me (she's chicken) so I could give the would-be Intruder the Stink-eye:


Do you see it? Isn't it a horrible thing? It scraped at the doors a bit trying to invade the place, but then it got a good look at me and made some whimpery baby-woofie noises because I'm One Intimidating Cat.

Here's a closer picture, just so you can see the Danger my Library was in:


That thing could have gotten in and left drool-splotches on the carpets. It could have eaten all of the Cat Treats! It could have left black furs where all of my orange furs are supposed to be!

Oh, hang on a minute. . .

Okay, so AAB Christine says she was NOT scared (liar-liar-pants-on-fire) and that the monster was a woofie-dog named Peppy and he's a boy and he was just pausing outside for a minute while his person came in to get some library books. And he's really quite friendly and probably wanted to Play. ("Play" roughly translates to "eat Library Cat.") He's a Sheltie/lab mix--similar in ferociousness to the Godzilla/Mothra variety of monster.

AB Karen gave Peppy some of MY Cat Treats (see it could have eaten all the Cat Treats!) probably to distract him from his goal of Complete Library Domination. My Stink-eye and her ingenious use of Cat Treats meant that our evening ended peacefully and without incident.

Defending my Library from slobbering Beasties,

Tober

I declawed myself.

As you may know from my earlier posts, I do not have fingernails. When I was younger, someone decided that I would not need them. I asked for replacements for Christmas, but Santa did not bring them. Since Cat fingernails are very small, I would imagine that they would be easy to deliver. Since I did not get them, I assume that Santa made a mistake, and brought them to the wrong Cat. As I mentioned once before, I will explain the mistake to Santa when we next meet.

Over the weekend, I had an Accident. I will not go into details because it is a bit embarrassing, but in the course of performing my library duties, I lost three of my toenails. I left a bloody pawprint on a desk (sorry, Linda), and the toenails have not yet been recovered.

I brought the Tragedy to the attention of my coworkers by licking my sore left foot. I tried not to lick it too often, because I didn't want them to worry (and I wanted to prove that I am One Tough Cat), but today it hurt really bad, so I licked it a bunch. Karen decided that it was time to visit the people at the Thorntown Veterinary Clinic. I was quite a handful during my last visit, but Karen assured me that no one would give me any pills, so I didn't worry about it too much. Luckily, the stupid pet box wasn't available, so Assistant Assistant Boss Christine hugged me all the way to the vet's office. Because I was being hugged, I could see out the window, and it was a very exciting ride.

When we got there, everyone was (of course) happy to see me. There was also a very large dog in the waiting room, but Karen and Christine promised to defend me if the big dog decided he wanted a Tober for lunch.

I was on my very best behavior. I let Dr. Jon look at each of my paws, and I was pretty nice until he got to the sore one. I must admit I howled. . . and hissed! I did not have to take a pill. I got a shot of an anti-inflammatory that will make my foot feel better. Still, I am not a fan of being poked, and I let everyone know by laying back my ears and giving them my grumpiest look.

I have very clean ears and I am maintaining a healthy weight. Best of all, I will get my three missing toenails back! We don't even have to find the old ones; I was told that three brand-new toenails would grow to replace the ones I lost! I think I will take extra-special care of my toenails from now on.

Who knew that Library work could be so dangerous? Next time you visit a Library, you should commend the staff members for their bravery.

I must also report that I have broken my New Year's Resolution. My Resolution was "I will not chew on any more important cords." I think that the importance of a monitor cord is debatable, but Karen does not. I very skillfully chewed her most recent monitor cord so that her screen has a greenish tint to it. If she jiggles it right, it changes to another color, and if she continues jiggling, it will return to normal. In my opinion, this development would make computer work much more exciting.

Although I am sad that I broke my Resolution. . . it was worth it!

I have excelled at the Pastor Jim Allen Reading Challenge. I pledged to read one book in 2009, and I have read three (so far).

MeOWS!

Tober

Why you should love cats

I've heard through the grapevine that there are people that prefer dogs over cats. I can't understand it. We cats are lovable, beautiful, friendly, silky soft, and we show affection with a gentle purr. . . rather than noisy, annoying barking and destructive tail-wagging. We exhibit self-control and polite manners, and we're usually quiet until provoked into an argument (or until we get hungry).

As I look around my quiet new home, I'm wondering, are there any library dogs out there? Probably not. A dog couldn't be trusted to guard his workplace with dedication and alertness. A library dog would be sleeping right now, I betcha. A library dog would exuberantly greet the smallest customers (they're so cute, and they wave at me!) by jumping up and knocking them down. A library dog would potty in the floor and look sheepish in the morning!

Not me. No, a highly-trained, responsible library cat (like me) would never do such things!

Okay, enough about dogs. Some people like them, I suppose, and I hear that the baby ones are cute (until they grow into huge, drooling, snarling monsters).

Still, I will end by saying this: Cats--particularly library cats--will someday rule the world! And that world will be flooded with unbelievable cuteness!

See! How cute is that? We'll even make peace with birds.

Okay, I'm going to take a nap now.

Sweet dreams,

Tober