Tober the Fly-Swatter Eats Again!

Dear Supporters of Stinky Goodness (and by extension, Me)--

I am happy to report that my Staff lasted a whole ten hours or so before succumbing to my pleas for nourishment. All it took was throwing myself at everyone's feet and extending my shrinking tummy for their inspection. AB Karen was the first to notice that I was wasting away before her eyes, and she (very sneakily) served me breakfast in her my office on Tuesday morning. Then she got busted when someone else noticed a bowl of smelly soft food on the floor, and now we are back to the way things should be. Forever.

My formerly Mean Staff have been reinstated as Nice Staff (especially Karen the Softie) and I have decided that I will not Fire anyone. Yet.

Today has been an exhausting day (it's a good thing they decided to feed me again!). I have had to patrol the Downstairs to make sure everybody showed up on time, I had to fling the Apple from Karen's desk several times, I had to provide a stool sample for the V-E-T, and I had to slay a Fly that invaded my Library.



I don't really understand why I was needed to kill the Fly, as it was a very slow-moving and kind of stupid one. AAB Christine could have easily caught and eaten it herself. But instead she came to get me. Maybe she was afraid?

So I am pooped. Here I am saying I can't take it anymore, World:


And yes, I'm supposed to go to see Dr. Jon (my mean V-E-T) tomorrow. Okay, maybe he's not mean, but he sure is rude with all the poking and prodding and sticking stuff in my ears! Anyway, I don't see why I have to do this again; I'm perfectly healthy and handsome and I use my box like a nice Mancat and I've got clean ears and feets and I'm strong and tough and have a soft coat. So Dr. Jon if you're reading this I want you to know that all you need to do tomorrow is pet me and I don't even need any of those dental treats because I have tartar control Whisker Lickin's. See you when you next visit the Library.

TPL's resident Fly-Swatter (and Slayer),

Tober

Pink Bows

It has been very Busy around here, and I have missed out on a lot of blogging and seeing my blogging friends. Luckily my Photographer had her camera ready a lot, so I have good pictures of me to show you when I get the time to stick them on here.

Back a few weeks ago, when my Assistant Boss Karen was not feeling so good, some of her friends sent her flowers. (Flowers make sick people--especially ladies--feel better.)

Well, I thought they were for me; she put them right in my sitting spot, after all. You know how I feel about flowers. They should be eaten, played with, and destroyed. These flowers were even more offensive than normal because they came with a giant pink bow.

I waited until I was left alone with the flowers, and I pulled off the bow and threw it on the floor. The flowers were tolerable then. Karen thought that the pink offended my masculine tastes. She was right.

They gave the bow back to me, minus the wirey piece that held it all together, and the massacre began:


See how I was licking my chops in that picture? Then I really get into it:


This pink bow (although I hear it's just a ribbon after my mutilation) now Belongs to Me. Karen keeps it in her desk so I can take my frustrations out on it whenever I want.

Yesterday I also engaged in a little fly-hunting, because no amount of treats can really replace the taste of a nice, fresh fly. This is one of the extra services I provide for the Thorntown Public Library, and I think it speaks to my Dedication and Initiative.

Below I am putting a picture of Another Cat. This is only because Assistant Assistant Boss Christine begged me to let her post a picture of her girl-cat reading a Library Book. Kitty (yeah, that's her name) lives with AAB Christine and keeps her in line when I am not around to do so. I can't imagine the tortures that this poor cat endures, since her Mommy is one of the ones who upside-downs me all the time.


Come to think of it, she looks a bit harassed in this picture, doesn't she?

I think I'm All Done for now!

Master of the Pink Bow,

Tober