The Mean Staff Diet

I have heard my staff muttering the most alarming things lately. I keep hearing words like "supper" and "dry food only" and "treats" and "he'll be okay" and, most importantly, "No More Soft Food."

No More Soft Food.

This is getting out of hand. They think that they can deny me my daily doses of Stinky Goodness because I don't eat it at it too much. I just like the gravy. But still, I like the routine--knowing that they will drop whatever they're doing and run to the grocery store. . . how they apologize and give extra Catnip when AAB Breakfast-Giver Becki is out and they do the usual bang-up job of FORGETTING to FEED ME. . . how the smell of my squishy food invigorates my nose and whiskers after a good seven-hour nap!

What am I supposed to do with these people? I'd fire them all, but I suspect they'd come back because they wouldn't have anything better to do. Oooh, AAB Christine said that was a Rotten thing to say. Well, it's Rotten to starve a Poor Defenseless (no thumbs!) Little Orange Cat and change his routine without asking permission!

You know what else is Rotten?

My pepper from my gracious West Lafayette friends. AAB Britta discovered some fur growing on the underside of it (in the broken part) last week, so we took one last photo together. They even wrapped it in paper towel so AAB Ritchie wouldn't fish it out of the trash like he kept doing with Little Green Pepper.


If I'd know they were going to take my suppers and breakfasts Away, I'd have saved Pepper for a snack.

Wasting away at the hands of my Treacherous Staff,

Tober the (skinny) Cat

Best. Presents. Ever.

Okay okay okay. I know I just posted but then these exciting One Whole Year Anniversary things started happening!

I got a present from my Staff. It is a Bunny-rabbit made out of a washcloth rolled in catnip and tied with a string and it is the best-smelling thing in the Whole World!

Here I am with the Bunny:


I give the Bunny a hard time:


The Bunny is no match for my feline Prowess:


And then I got my Very Own Cupcake with Cat-Treat Sprinkles:


Got a bit on my nose:


I guess I really shouldn't eat my dessert first, but since it's my Hire Day. . .


This has been a Wonderful Day!

Hoping my tummy can handle all of this yummy goodness,

Tober

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mommy's Day to all of my Assistant Assistant Boss Mommies.


Reasons I love my Mommies:

1. They give me a nice place to live and work.

2. I get lots of very tasty foods.

3. They give me treats, even when I don't do special tricks for them.

4. We have wonderful conversations. . . although most are a bit one-sided.

5. They didn't kick me out of my library, even after I ate lots of Important Cords.

6. They always have places on their desks for me (although sometimes I have to re-arrange things a bit).

7. They give excellent tummy rubs!

8. My litter box is always clean and fresh-smelling, like flowers.

9. They come to me when called.

10. I get great massages.

11. They share their seats.

12. They do not complain when I am shedding--except for when they wear black clothes.

13. They brush me sometimes.

14. I do not like the V-E-T, but they bring me to visit him so that I can stay healthy and live a long time.

15. They give nice chin scritches, which make my whiskers very excited.

16. They let me hide under their desks when someone scary or fast-moving comes in the building.

17. They heat up my supper when it's been in the fridgerator.

18. I am carried to supper every night.

19. They know I love my catnip, so they keep me well-supplied!

20. They love me back!

I want to wish a Super-Special Mommy's Day to Assistant Boss Mommy Karen. Thank you for finding me and giving me such a special place to live. I think I'm the luckiest Cat in the world!

Happy Mommy's Day to all of the Kitty-Mommies out there. There's nothing like realizing you've found your Forever Home.

Purrs,

Tober

Update on my Toenails

Most of you probably remember the horrible Accident that I had a few months ago in which I lost my precious Toenails. My left foot got infected and was stinky, but Dr. Jon at the Thorntown Veterinary Clinic gave me Medicine and said that I would get All New Toenails someday.

Well, I'm here to inform you that they're here! The new ones aren't very impressive just yet, but I have nubby little Toenails on my left foot! One of my Assistant Assistant Bosses discovered them this week, Upside-Downed me, and announced my Big News to the Staff. I was hoping she would wait until they were full-sized and Razor sharp, but it doesn't take much to get the People excited around here, and I like to let them have their fun. It is part of my Management Style.

For those of you who don't know, Upside-Downing is this horrible thing that some Staff members like to do to me. They scoop me up (usually from a Nap, when I'm all Soggy and warm) like a Human baby and carry me around with my Feet in the air. It's a bit humiliating, by my Tummy does get rubbed quite a lot when they do it to me.

You cannot see my new Toenails in this picture, but you can see that I have strong, manly Feet:


This has been a Very Busy Week. I was beginning to feel Neglected, because everyone was so excited about the new Plastic-Scented Evergreen Library Cards that they almost forgot to give me Dinner a few times.

Usually my dinner is prepared while I am Napping, and a Staff member comes to notify me that it is ready. Sometimes, because I am still sleepy from the Nap, they carry me to my Cafeteria and set me directly in front of my bowl. (This is a Very Nice Thing to Do.)

Lately I have been waking from my Nap, going to where my dinner should be, scowling at the crusty bit of breakfast left in the bowl, and yelling at the nearest Staff person. Then they go "Oh, Tober, you need dinner!" like it's a big surprise or something!

On the flip side, I did learn something very valuable this week. On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, when the Library is open until 8:00, the Staff still feeds me at 5:45, so I don't get Upset by a weird change in my schedule.

Well, if I eat my Dinner really fast when Assistant Boss Karen isn't looking, there is a chance that she will feed me again, thinking that I missed Dinner!!!!

The Library Staff has been very generous with the Treats and the Catnip this week. When they get Stressed Out from all of their Very Hard Work, they talk to me and I make them Happy again. Lucky for me, the Giving of Catnip seems to make them Happy, especially Bonnie, who always caters to my need for a nice roll in the floor.

Here I am appreciating all of Bonnie's hard work and Catnip-giving:


If you click and make this picture Big, you will see that I have many, many pieces of Catnip stuck to my fur.

I also had my picture taken while I was lounging near the water fountain one night. I do not usually let people take a lot of pictures of me (especially with the flash on), but I was reminded that many of my Adoring Fans can't make it to the Library to see me in Person. I wouldn't want them to suffer because they live lots of miles away! I will try to be better about picture-taking in the future--unless I am cleaning myself at the moment. These pictures really capture my Irresistability.

Here I look like I am waving. "Goodbye, Photographer, I am trying to Sleep!"


Here I am Just Plain Adorable:


Now I have Updated you on my Week. I will try to write more often, but it is very hard for me to get on the Computers here, since the Staff is hogging them all. I think I need to remind them of the Importance of my Job.

Your Newly-Toenailed

Tober